I am
waiting. Still waiting to be discovered.
By whom I do not know. For what, well, it's flexible. But why,
I am not sure, nor do I recognize
what I'm hoping to receive. A dream
job? Money? Personal recognition?
I am
reminded of a social science class in high school where I was the only one to
rank personal recognition a top value over the typical love, family, money,
etc. As the teacher repeated it loud,
stating my name followed by "for personal recognition," I remember thinking, Was that odd? That was the first time I recall realizing the
true desire I had to be famous or well-known,
beyond the kid dreams to be an actress or singer – I just realized
now, I did always fantasize about
careers that would make me famous, so
maybe that is my core value, what drives me deep down.
I write a
blog no one reads, to voice my thoughts and put them out there in case someone
should stumble upon them. But yes, when
I started it over 5 years ago, I
secretly hoped some person of influence would find me and recognize my
talent.
I guess I do
feel unrecognized, inhibited. Like I
have these gifts to share with the world if only someone would give me a means
to do it. And, while they are at it, pay me something so I can make a living
doing what I love, loving what I do.
Yes, those
types of cheesy sayings were written in dedication to people like myself. Some
people criticize and blame the lazy workforce on this philosophy that
millennials were supposedly taught that they need to be fulfilled with their
work instead of doing whatever crummy job to make end's meat. I often think that desire is long
extinguished in myself, that I'm content where I am, but at times, I feel the burning of the
flames reigniting. Maybe if I had kids
to support, it would be different. Or
maybe that is just who I am.
My husband
recently chastised this attitude and questioned if I thought my parents were
fulfilled at their jobs or had just been doing as necessary to support the
family. I always thought there were
aspects they liked, so I asked, and yes, they did both have job
fulfillment. So, I guess my philosophy I've carried with me at
every job holds true: you do things you don't like or put up with the less
favorable things in order to do some things that you like to do, those which do
bring you fulfillment. If you ask
me, if there is any problem with today's
youth, it is that they think there is a miracle job that will be fun all the
time.
Fast forward
from my mixed view, middle position to my older husband, and I feel surprised
that he feels fulfillment on the job is unnecessary. That is what keeps you going every day! But
when I stop to look at him and jobs he has told me he has had, whether he realizes it or not, they have been fulfilling to him. He is outgoing, and all his jobs but one temp
one that lasted only a week have involved customer service or sales, which
allows him to do what he thrives on: talk to people.
Thus, I
conclude workers who have been employed the same place for years do have some
job satisfaction, even if it is just the hours or distance. I know not everyone is driven by personal
recognition like myself. Some could care
less about feeling fulfilled at work. These may very well be my classmates who
chose money or love as their most important values. If they are able to make good money at a job
close to home, allowing them to spend
more time with their family inside their white picket fence, well, that is
their motivator to get up every morning, their inspiration to get through the day,
as they look forward to getting home and spending a long night with their spouse.
As for
me, I have been at my digital imaging
position for over 10 years. I stayed through all the drama and pushed through
tedious orders because I love restoring pictures and also find it enriching to
learn about vintage photography. And it was that dedication, my "take the
good and put up with the bad" attitude, (i.e. Focus on the Positive,
Develop from the Negative) that led me to my now husband.
So loving what you do and doing what you love can't be all so wrong then, can it?
For now,
I'll just keep doing what I'm doing,
taking any extra opportunity available to me, sharing my
photography, art, and writing online
with as many people as I can so their compliments keep motivating me to create
more of it. And maybe someday, if it's
meant to be, I'll be discovered. If I'm lucky,
it will be in a way that ends up satisfying this unknown craving for
self-fulfillment I so often feel hungry for.
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