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Far From Famous

I am waiting.  Still waiting to be discovered. By whom I do not know.  For what,  well, it's flexible.  But why,  I am not sure,  nor do I recognize what I'm hoping to receive.  A dream job?  Money?   Personal recognition?

I am reminded of a social science class in high school where I was the only one to rank personal recognition a top value over the typical love, family, money, etc. As the teacher repeated it loud,  stating my name followed by "for personal recognition,"  I remember thinking, Was that odd?  That was the first time I recall realizing the true desire I had to be famous or well-known,  beyond the kid dreams to be an actress or singer – I just realized now,  I did always fantasize about careers that would make me famous,  so maybe that is my core value, what drives me deep down.

I write a blog no one reads, to voice my thoughts and put them out there in case someone should stumble upon them.  But yes, when I started it over 5 years ago,  I secretly hoped some person of influence would find me and recognize my talent. 

I guess I do feel unrecognized,  inhibited. Like I have these gifts to share with the world if only someone would give me a means to do it. And, while they are at it, pay me something so I can make a living doing what I love, loving what I do.

Yes, those types of cheesy sayings were written in dedication to people like myself. Some people criticize and blame the lazy workforce on this philosophy that millennials were supposedly taught that they need to be fulfilled with their work instead of doing whatever crummy job to make end's meat.   I often think that desire is long extinguished in myself, that I'm content where I am,  but at times, I feel the burning of the flames reigniting.  Maybe if I had kids to support, it would be different.  Or maybe that is just who I am.

My husband recently chastised this attitude and questioned if I thought my parents were fulfilled at their jobs or had just been doing as necessary to support the family.  I always thought there were aspects they liked, so I asked, and yes, they did both have job fulfillment.  So,  I guess my philosophy I've carried with me at every job holds true: you do things you don't like or put up with the less favorable things in order to do some things that you like to do, those which do bring you fulfillment.  If you ask me,  if there is any problem with today's youth, it is that they think there is a miracle job that will be fun all the time.

Fast forward from my mixed view, middle position to my older husband, and I feel surprised that he feels fulfillment on the job is unnecessary.  That is what keeps you going every day! But when I stop to look at him and jobs he has told me he has had,  whether he realizes it or not,  they have been fulfilling to him.  He is outgoing, and all his jobs but one temp one that lasted only a week have involved customer service or sales, which allows him to do what he thrives on: talk to people.

Thus, I conclude workers who have been employed the same place for years do have some job satisfaction, even if it is just the hours or distance.  I know not everyone is driven by personal recognition like myself.  Some could care less about feeling fulfilled at work. These may very well be my classmates who chose money or love as their most important values.  If they are able to make good money at a job close to home,  allowing them to spend more time with their family inside their white picket fence, well, that is their motivator to get up every morning, their inspiration to get through the day, as they look forward to getting home and spending a long night with their spouse.

As for me,  I have been at my digital imaging position for over 10 years. I stayed through all the drama and pushed through tedious orders because I love restoring pictures and also find it enriching to learn about vintage photography. And it was that dedication, my "take the good and put up with the bad" attitude, (i.e. Focus on the Positive, Develop from the Negative) that led me to my now husband.

So loving what you do and doing what you love can't be all so wrong then, can it?


For now, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing,  taking any extra opportunity available to me, sharing my photography,  art, and writing online with as many people as I can so their compliments keep motivating me to create more of it. And maybe someday,  if it's meant to be,  I'll be discovered.  If I'm lucky,  it will be in a way that ends up satisfying this unknown craving for self-fulfillment I so often feel hungry for. 
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