If you are a creator or thinker who needs alone time to thrive, it can be very confusing to friends and family that you like being alone, even crave it at times to create a new idea you had or ponder a new topic you read. This is especially so with a new partner, group of friends, or future in-laws. While some may only feel hurt and ignored, other social butterflies meaning well may often diagnose you as depressed, and you may even start to question it yourself after repeated allegations.
Are you sitting alone to sulk with time dragging or are you relaxed in the quiet with time flying by? Do you think about life's problems or contemplate innovative ideas? If you want to draw, paint, build, write, read – and lose yourself in your individual hobby of choice, you are NOT suffering from depression!
What to do if you are constantly chastised about this? It can, depending on how pushy the person critiquing you is, become frustrating and lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or agitation. If it is just a close friend or extended family member whose opinion you respect, you can try explaining it to them, if they'll listen.
However, a bigger concern may arise if it is a spouse, parent, child, sibling or roommate; someone you live with or share your life with. It is important to not be deceptive about your desire for alone time. Never lie to get the house to yourself nor fib about your whereabouts, as it may start to feel to others you are hiding something bad or inappropriate. Be honest and confident about your personal needs for "me time," and don't feel ashamed if you require more time to yourself than your partner does or than your friend thinks you should have. Everybody is different!
If what you create or work on while alone is not too personal and something you are able to share, try showing the ones you love some of your projects to help them understand what you do when by yourself and why you enjoy – and do often need – alone time. Additionally, making sure to schedule time together where they have your undivided attention can often help new people in your life adjust to your lifestyle, as it reduces their feeling of being left out or ignored.
Are you a creative type who likes alone time? Does your family accept it? How do you explain it to them?
Or are you dating or rooming with someone who likes a lot of alone time? How did they best help you to understand their need to recharge solo?
Share your tips in the comments below for any innovators currently facing this situation.
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