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The Other Side of my Ampersand: The "And" Phenomenon


Before I was dating, I often noted what I termed the "And" Phenomenon. Once you become an established couple with someone, it seems you lose your recognition as an individual.  It's always, "Michael AND Jane are coming at five" or  "Louise AND Derek are bringing the salad."


It reminds me of the novel "Lord of the Flies," where the twin characters' names are run together as Samneric. I also think of a grade school friend who named the kitties from a two kitten litter Pair and Dice. She had to explain to me that together, they would be "Paradise."  These conjoined nouns start to become more of a one word term than a phrase of two people's names. Everyone who knows the couple recognizes it as the being of two.

Often, it's the same person's name that comes first in the compound, as though it is a learned term entering the dictionary of your life. It's always "Jack and Jill" and never "Jill and Jack." How it is decided whose name comes first? I do not know, as gender does seem to vary being first and last with couples I know. Is it your immediate family or connection in the couple whose name starts the conjunction? Alphabetically? What sounds good phonetically? The combination that fits the most of these rules? Regardless, the compound of two nouns tends to becomes one unity. If we talk about Jill alone, we don't immediately recognize she is the Jill who belongs with Jack.

However, I was always an individual. "Dawn is coming later." "Dawn will sit here." "Dawn likes photography."  I was proud of my power to retain identity as an individual when thrown in phrases with the couples: "JasmineAndKeith, SteveAndTaylor, and Dawn are all coming tonight." Once you become an "and," you will eventually inevitable lose your name's ability to function alone in a sentence without it's compound. It's some unwritten rule I termed this "And Phenomenon." I have noticed gradually over the past year, our names becoming a common phrase. "Say hi to Dawn and Joe." "Dawn and Joe are working today." "Dawn and Joe are making the chili dip."

But, however, yet...whatever conjunction you want to use to improperly begin this sentence, although "and" is probably best to make my point: AND, I have never been so happy than I have been this past year being an "and."  Joe is my other side of the ampersand, and I wouldn't want the sentence formulated any other way! Period.


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