Focus on the Positive...but Develop from the Negatives

Just something that has been on my mind with cities boarding up in precaution of the 2020 election results. Remember, (conspiracy theorists aside), whichever party wins will be because the majority of our fellow Americans voted for them. If your candidate doesn't win, you are entitled to be upset, let down, and even worried about our country. That's perfectly human! But, to cause destruction and chaos, hurting innocent people in rebellion, think about it: Isn't that really what children do when they don't get their way? They scream in anger and throw things in an attempt to get the authority figure to change their mind and give the child what he or she wants. Because to a child, the world revolves around them. No matter who wins or loses this Election Day, I hope all Americans will show us how mature they really are. It shouldn't have anything to do with whether you support the Democratic party, consider yourself a Republican, or fall somewhere in between.

That moment when you realize things are the way they are because people hold on to misconceptions from the past. When you officially know relationships can never improve because a toxic person is still controlling someone's beliefs over proven reality. That moment when you realize some people would rather hold onto pride and being right than friends or family. When you acknowledge that they throw relationship after relationship away by never trying to truly understand, always believing something is wrong with the other person & never once taking accountability for their own actions. That moment when hope is all gone. When you finally know you were right all along, even though you wished you had it wrong.    That's a sad moment.  Because you try to move on from the past, offer forgiveness, even give a second chance.  You can acknowledge your own mistakes, desiring a mended relationship, almost whatever it takes.  So, it's difficult to accept other people aren't as ca

There are few people in this world that would disagree that murder is worse morally than vandalism, stealing, and arson. Thus, that should be a "you understood" statement without it being said or written. However, during the recent riots, social media users angrily clashed. When someone posted the destruction was wrong, they were attacked by comments saying murder was worse, as though anyone would argue that point! But, the moral judgment here is whether premeditated violent acts done upon innocent people hundreds of miles away, many of whom are also minorities, actions that have the potential to kill, are acceptable as an outcry of demanding attention on a serious issue. When I feel something deep in my heart, I do turn to the Bible. I found solace in this passage and recalled Jesus didn't retaliate, he didn't even fight back, so he certainly didn't seek vengeance upon innocent people across the country. I feel all the riots and looting really tainted an

A study released a couple weeks ago based on location data stated it was a privilege of wealth to be able to stay at home during COVID-19. My initial response was it had to do with the types of jobs residents of poorer neighborhoods are more likely to have; essential laboring like grocery stores, gas stations, and factories, as opposed to urban firms where telecommuting can get the work done. However, after observing the attitudes and life situations of certain people, I realized that attitude has an effect on their not staying home, too. Case 1 is a relapsed alcoholic with a revoked driver's license who has been in and out of jail for 20 years with DUI charges, once a felony. He moves from one cash paying job to the next but is currently unemployed. Case 2 is a divorced single mother working jobs such as bartending and waitressing, quick to quit when something does not go in her favor. She always resides with a current boyfriend until moving in with the next. Both cases are m

Coronavirus Shelter-in-Place and Stay At Home Orders Have Slowed Society Down to a Pace that Chronic Pain Sufferers Can Adequately Keep Up with and Have Reduced Social Commitments to the Level Introverts Actually Prefer  We've all seen the posts of people complaining about being bored with social distancing and missing their social lives. But have you noticed any other post themes? Or perhaps you are one who is feeling opposite. I have seen people with social anxiety or even just introverts post their life isn't much different. I've even heard of anxiety actually decreasing for some, knowing there is nowhere to be and everyone else is home, too. Perhaps because it is easier to go through things in large numbers – until the pandemic panic anxiety sets back in, of course! For those with chronic pain or other conditions normally trying to push enough to just sustain everyday life, it has suddenly become easier for some people who do not have essen

Before you complain about your current COVID-19 circumstances, remind yourself that it could always be worse.... Before you complain about being stuck at home bored, Remind yourself that there is someone else stuck at home, too, who had a special party, concert, or other social event cancelled. But before you complain about not being able to celebrate your milestone birthday or having to cancel a vacation you planned for a year, Remind yourself that someone else had to postpone their wedding or won't have the graduation ceremony they earned. However, before you complain about having to miss a traditional celebration or reschedule a once-in-a-lifetime event, Remind yourself that some people are off work without pay, wondering how they will be able to just live normally from day to day. But before you complain about being laid off from your job temporarily, Remind yourself that some people have lost their jobs completely. They will need to look for new work

I have seen MY most used on social media in two forms. One, somebody moves out of state and constantly posts about how "great MY new town is" and "all the exciting things there are to do in MY town." I often wonder if perhaps they are trying to convince themselves of this more than family and friends left behind. Like their old city was never theirs, but here, they finally belong – or so they want everyone to believe. The second instance, which I'm focusing on today, is a hometown local who lives in the same city he or she grew up in, constantly referring to the neighborhood as "MY town."  A recent caption I saw really struck my curiosity. "Enjoying MY afternoon in MY town." It's as though the person is saying the town is as much hers as her own afternoon belongs to her. I understand it is territorial, most likely some competition. "I was here first. I have always loved this town," as though a new resident can't p

If you are a creator or thinker who needs alone time to thrive, it can be very confusing to friends and family that you like being alone,  even crave it at times to create a new idea you had or ponder a new topic you read. This is especially so with a new partner, group of friends, or future in-laws. While some may only feel hurt and ignored, other social butterflies meaning well may often diagnose you as depressed, and you may even start to question it yourself after repeated allegations.  Are you sitting alone to sulk with time dragging or are you relaxed in the quiet with time flying by? Do you think about life's problems or contemplate innovative ideas? If you want to draw, paint, build, write, read – and lose yourself in your individual hobby of choice, you are NOT suffering from depression! What to do if you are constantly chastised about this?  It can, depending on how pushy the person critiquing you is, become frustrating and lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or

Is there a psychology of snow? Across the Midwest, or at least in the Chicago area, it seems winter fanatics love bragging about expected snowfall, whether to friends, co-workers, strangers they are next to in line, or these days, all over social media – but more than likely, it's probably all of the above! If someone emphasizes disgust of the four letter s-word, most of these winter wonderlanders will shovel their cold preference on even more and plow that person over when Mother Nature gives us a few inches. Is it because they are in the minority with most people having more negative feelings towards the white stuff? Are they simply emphasizing their opposite opinion to take their turn in feeling special, showing they are unique just like any other snowflake? Or are they cold-hearted just like the blizzard they speak of so longwindedly? Do they enjoy burying others with their own misery and hope to add hypothermia on top of frostbite? Do all these people really l